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Man...my weakness must be pretty obvious....They keep using it against me!!
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in kaizawave3's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, April 4th, 2009
9:42 pm
the return to Earth........
I returned from my soul searching journey. Many things have come and gone in the past few months. Mid-Boss turned out to be the most horrendous portion of my dating experience. There are so many ways I can describe it but I will resolve it all down to one word..."damn".I lost my job and got another one. I wouldn't call it a job more so than a waste of time. While hopping from tree to tree you come to realize just how each experience can change your perspective on issues. In some ways, my own manner of handling issues contributes to my kharmic backlashes. This is accepted.

After being out of school for quite some time, I have decided to take my life into my own hands. It was almost like a surgical implant that was dislodged from my cerebellum. I woke up one morning thinking of my grandfather(Old Monkey). That he was just as a.d.d. as me. He just got things done somehow. I reflected on something he said to me when he drove me up here to start school. He told me that I better do what I came here to do and not to depend on someone else to make your money. He told me that he would be at my graduation and to make him proud. As some can deduce, that didn't happen. Gennie Lewis died in 2005. That was literally the most devastating moment in my life. I speak of him fondly. his deadth broke me to an undescribable point and soon after I saw myself in a recurring cycle. I woke up and realized that working for people sucks balls an in the end you merely conform to the wishes of others.I must admit. That moment really had me thinking.

I have resolved myself to doing animation and drawing on a constant basis. I am trying to set up some contracts and such. I am finishing school, but the main thing is getting myself in a position to harness my talents.

It's time

Saturday, November 15th, 2008
10:52 pm
This may be the latest one for a while.....
I have decided to make it completely official at this point. There is no point in denying it. This is what happens when humans of the opposite sex engage in soul-sparking conversation and amazing sex. I get this random text at work while I am getting cursed out by this old white lady from Louisiana....."So...you want to be my boyfriend or what :*)" The infamous question that plagues me when I least expect it. Some may think I am crazy...perhaps...I am. I asked her if she could handle it. In most cases, the woman is in control of the male/female relations scenario, but I am difficult. I admit it. I am not afraid of commitments, just people. We are a very volatile species whose logic is easily countered by emotion. I wanted her to be sure that her convictions weren't made from great sex. I have been asked this question three times this year....this time...I said "yes". *sigh* Terra was supposed to die and elude me forever....she succeeded. Raven is forever the unattainable goal that will never arrive, but always right above the horizon. Sadly, this one did a hurricane kick, EX Shoryuken, and then completed the combo with Shun Goku Satsu(Raging Demon). She is faaaaar more emotional than I am and I worry that she will take my nonchalance as uncaring. Unlike the girls of the past that I have dealt with, this one has an extra type of seasoning known as "Ghetto". She isn't used to being treated nicely by guys she dates. I can see that in those eyes of hers. I am not remotely trying to play "Captain Save-a-ho", but I will just be me. It's time to disappear again. It appears that the monkey king has come across another one vying for the crown of Queen. Let's see about that......
Sunday, November 9th, 2008
3:10 am
This whole week has been a hazy experience. I got to hang out with my folks. We helped Mid-Boss move out today. That was interesting. We even got enhanced during the move out. Impressive....most impressive. Overall fun day if you will.
Friday, November 7th, 2008
12:45 am
Ok....the conclusion is drawing slowly closer. I am slightly inebriated which makes saying this that much easier. I have been on this kick for a while now. She came by and hung out with me, chase, and the burl for a while. Damn she is so cute...I guess I am weird. We are going to spend the whole day out Friday and part of Saturday. I have to help her move. DAMN YOU MID-BOSS!!!! I must say I am slightly amped. I haven't felt this way about things in a while. It just got interesting. By the way, you guys should try this drink called JOOSE. It has like nine percent alky and great tasting. Perhaps it's time for me to stop being a knucklehead and just be honest. She is putting forth alot of effort. She came straight over here when I called her and everything. I can't say alot of women would be willing to do that. She had to go home because she worked all day, but came by to see me. Damn!!!! We going to hang out like all day tomorrow. What the hell is wrong with me man?? I want to be happy I really do, but part of me wonders if she can really handle the task. Can she really tame the savage beast? I am a very rough and tumble kind of guy. I will be the love of your life one minute then a complete stranger the next. I don't do this on purpose, but at the end of the day I just like things to be free. We have both established it. We are both too stubborn to admit it. I have been experiencing a grand sense of warm fuzzies since she came back into the world o monkey. We have always had this connection ya know?

I am far from in love, but yet...still intrigued. Why would a woman try so hard to make her existence known. Am I really that hard to read....to hold still....to conquer? Yeah..I know..she has baggage, but at the end of the day name someone our age who doesn't. This fucker is racking up points and I don't like it. I want to be cynical and impractical, but I can't help but want to handle this like a grown up. I feel like going to a club tomorrow night. FUCK ATLANTA UP YO!!! Why not...I will just go ahead and admit it to her and get it over with..damn myself to a year or so of happiness then a horrible denouement.....cynicism again I can feel it LOL!!! Peace out peoples.....this monkey has a long road ahead.

Thursday, November 6th, 2008
1:59 am
Round Three.......BEGIN!!
ITADAKIMASU!!!! Another riveting night of fun has unfolded. I shouldn't tell some stuff over the internet, but I am literally at a point of not giving a damn right now. This is an amusing song I am listening to also. Just to let those in my friendly world know, I have been hanging with this individual I have officially dubbed "Mid-Boss". She is well....typically atypical of the things I would happen upon on my journeys. I met her a while back during my Compucredit days. While I was dealing with my long-distance relationship, she kinda stayed in the background supplying random comments here and there. I could tell she was jealous to a degree. Even at that time she wanted all my attention, but me being me.....I ignored her....graciously. We bickered like elementary school kids. Of course I had an attraction to her.....naturally. SHe followed the archetype that I am magnetically drawn to. Crazy...Insane...Virgo....control freak......short....bright skin...big butt. I wasn't in love or nothing, but there was something there. Of course, alot of my friends don't know who she is. This is because...well like i said..she stayed in the background. After reconnecting again after a seven month intermission, it's exactly what I thought it would be. We been hanging out for the past week or so. A character that one is. After hanging with the Burly one and Chase, I was chilling out. She came out of nowhere and popped a BIG question on me yo. I am kind of confused on what to do about it though. I haven't had a girlfriend in a while. I would have to adjust. I have gotten comfortable with being a premier bachelor.......come and go as I please.Not with a girlfriend....it's not possible. I would be following me old ways with that one. Perhaps I am being stubborn. I find it ironic how I bash some people's moral standing with being miserable when they could simply be happy....here I am doing the same thing. I need to sleep on this one for real. Time for sleep........I need answers.
Tuesday, November 4th, 2008
8:31 am
SUCH ELATION!!!.......
Last night was an amusing journey. FUNNY I TELL YOU! A simple night of me and chase hanging at the house transformed into a mini party. That's the way life should be. No plans. No phone calls. Just all of us and the magic. A random call from one of the fiends in my rogue's gallery came from my blind side, but it was all good in the end. Deflected every useless attack and still manage to evade the almost inevitable resolution to the story. We were all F-d up beyond all measure. Man...she lost like 20 pounds too. *drool* If this was the weekend, I know for a fact that something hellish would have happened. THe ratio of male to female was too even. That's life. Perhaps I will let the rest of the clan meet her just to catch a glimpse of the demon I fought, overcame, then fell into the pits anew. I know my burly colleague will have the esteemed pleasure. She's a real cutie.....just too damn spoiled. where the hell do I find cute, spoiled, control freaks? Perhaps someone needs to hold me down and keep me grounded......we will see MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH!!
Monday, September 29th, 2008
7:38 am
...would a title make you feel better?
It's been a while. No updates. No need really. Life is what it is and always have been. Unfortunately, with life you can't alter it, change it, or coerce it into doing your bidding. In our own minds, we have that control, but in all actuality it laughs at us for thinking we can. After experiencing rut after rut, I decided to change the course of things and let go of my former essence. The things that gave me form would include being broke, being evasive, and rebelling needlessly to prove a point. Perhaps I am just bored. I haven't been broke in a very long time. It feels good to eat everyday and not have to worry about the little things all the time. My evasiveness although sharpened to an almost excalibur-like point has proven useless in previous battles. My rebellious nature on the other hand is a harder nut to crack. I have always been the type to push limits, life, and experiences. What fun is life is we live by its limits. It's bad enough we have mortality. What more would we have to confess to? Thoughts have gone through my head that I never thought possible. I am almost 25 years old. Some of us would much rather continue to revel in the fact that we are still 20-something and have to make dumb shit relevant. I can't anymore. Well...at least that's how I feel. We all go through levels of change. I suppose I just realized that people verify each other's existences. Although on the outside I may seem to be a clumsy, goofy, and comedic character to behold. In most cases, I am. I have to take the old armor off now. It has proven useful in my last battles, but all it is doing and has done for the past three years is make life slightly miserable. I am not having an emo trip. You spend your life being a hard-nosed philosopher with no sense of emotion eventually something out of the blue will catch you off guard and show you that you are still only human.

Current Mood: artistic
Saturday, July 12th, 2008
2:17 am
it turns out that my trip to jamaica did a faceplant to the hells of chinese demons. IT was a complete and utter bust. I couldn't believe it. Actually...on second thought...I could. NO point in getting scientific and metaphorical with this one. I am just tired of putting up the ray shields and someone with phasing abilities getting through. DAAAMN YOU JAMAICA!!!!
Monday, June 30th, 2008
12:37 am
Well...well....well after an amazing weekend of blistering mind altering conversations and thought processes, I have finally come to the point where fighting and faking has become fruitless. All these years of hopping from tree to tree have finally begun to bite me in the arse. Ya boy actually fell out the damn tree this time. FROM DOWNTOWN!!!....so to speak. It's fine though. I may sound cryptic now, but you will see the results of my ducking and dodging within the months to come. All walls are meant to be knocked over in my opinion. You just need the right tools and patience.

Friday, June 27th, 2008
1:40 am
life is funny
it appears that I will be delving into sum dem sugah for a bit. See how it goes LOL!!
Saturday, May 31st, 2008
10:57 am
for the longest time....
I really feel like the world is a dream. Not like the matrix, but something more.....sinister. The thing people hate is feeling like they are being controlled. Feeling like this gives me a very persistent feeling of anxiety that I just cant stand now. I don't know how to get rid of it.

One day...my dream will come true and when it does I know for sure that I will be the most powerful man period. It's like Superman without sunlight. Hercules without wine. Spiderman without his webbing. These are the essential pieces that have built the character of these guys. Time to collect all of mine I suppose.
Sunday, May 25th, 2008
5:16 am
why do i fraggin bother.....
well..it all started out like the average day. I wake up...look around, think about how curious I am, and then I stand up and walk into the bathroom at look at myself in the mirror. I think I am dazzling so it can't be helped. I just really want to be left alone right now. I don't know what I say or what I do, but this is the only medium where I can complain about this crap and it's over in my mindscape....so I will spill forth nonsense. I speak with an inebriated tongue, but that's life. Tonight was fun...except for the thing that always happens on nights like this. I told this dingus that I wanted to be left alone. It was so simple. You dance in your corner and I will dance in mine. SIMPLE!! I don't take dates to the club so don't think you be specials pimpin'!! She was cute..as always...but alas I am much too consumed with having a good time instead of masturbating with female bodies(damn..did I just say that..WTF is wrong with me) I guess in time things like this will resolve themselves. What was really funny was that I came in and was just being me. I couldn't get far because this amazing human being kept grabbing me. It was cool,but don't touch unless you want to pay the price and it ain't cheap. Let me stop whining on here about the same bs.......in the end I accept my fate in life. Everything I have ever wanted in my life no matter how simple was met with hardship and useless confusion. All things I don't want or care for tend to want me and chase after me vigorously. Well..at least I found consolation in the fact that she looked amazing tonight.I EVEN BROUGHT OTHER FRIENDS WITH ME!!! My distraction jutsu wasn't working on this dingus. Much love i suppose......I will obtain my goals soon I suppose.
Sunday, May 11th, 2008
4:43 pm
i should make a song called "hey dude" based off the beatles hit single
It's that special time of day for me to spill useless garbage into the interwebs. It doesn't directly impact anyone's lives. Hence the reason why I say it's rather useless.It's amazing how much control the human mind has over other bodily functions. The anger brought to the light from my previous post is still there. I feel that it may be possible if someone got the gumption to stab me in the chest with a iron spike, that a 30 mile radius of our environment would be caught in a torrential maelstrom on par with Nagasaki. The only thing that's keeping it at bay is my natural sensibility. If I had my little brother's sentiment toward issues, I would have exploded long ago.Alas...i suppose it does have a poetic symmetry to it. I have always been known by some as the guy "with the black cloud over his head". In some ways, I can sympathize and understand that logic. My life has always been about balances. In order for me to get a new job, I have to make a two week sacrifice of no food or money. In order for me to get money, I have to do some crazy and unfathomable activity to get it done. If I want to go out on a date, it has to be within an odd realm of understanding making it pointless to even go in the first place. YOu see my sad little point. I could never seem to be an upper-middle class male, with a wife and two kids, a nice four bedroom house, well paying job, and be an established figure in the community. We all know that things come with a cost. Not to be selfish, but what more must I do to pay the piper. That fucker has been holding on to the flute for too damn long and I want to toot my own damn instrument.

We as humans, in essence, push forward because that's all we really got. Regression is usually followed by fear and anxiety. I, for one, feel that if I am to have anything, that I must accept the pain and hardship that come with it. Nothing is easy...I know, but for once I just want the feeling of satisfaction without the precursors of pain and misfortune. Perhaps bitterness and cynicism have finally gripped my soul like my mother foretold me once, but I will fight as I always do. Monkeys can't have money.....bananas are better. No point in having a car..MARTA is right around the corner. Love is useless because it makes you scared of what's next. Why have a girlfriend when you can have them all. This doesn't mean that I am renouncing the part of my soul that is still optimistic. I just want to understand WHY for every action there has to be a reaction. WHy can't the world just stand in stasis while we incite chaos for free? For that reason....this demon in my chest will not rest until I get the answers that I need.

Current Mood: contemplative

Tuesday, May 6th, 2008
12:31 am
trying to unlock the secrets in man's DNA
I have never imagined in the depths of my mind and soul lurked the ability to feel such an intense rage. I have long known that I have an almost hulk-like repression problem. Thank God that it's not accompanied with a personality disorder. One day, I will get over this amazing hump. For the past six years, this anger has been constant...hidden beneath a big head and no neck. Sometimes I lack the ability to answer things seriously. That's only because in doing so I would feel like I would have to face the truth. In some ways, I may be emo...pfft. Someday....this anger will cease to exist. This same rage is what hasn't allowed me to commit to any one woman..or focus on certain things...or keep the skies clear so to speak.

I hope and pray that i can resolve this.

Current Mood: angry
Saturday, May 3rd, 2008
10:51 pm
i believe in the dream, but apparently the show must go on..
I am preparing for a nice brisk walk down the street to DOom's house. I was supposed to go out with my homegirl tonight, but meh...i am not in the mood really. Last night kind of burned me out as it were. It was alot of fun though. My friends that I used to work with decided that they wanted to go to a gay/lesbian spot. Of course...I am not of the homosexual variety, but I did want to check out the atmosphere just to see what the business was. We got some drinks and passed them around. I started dancing around the whole joint. They were playing some of the good old fashion old school stuff too. I was vibing hard. I was told that this one random chick was dancing with me while I wasn't paying attention. Apparently the dickhead was trying to prove a point. I casually walked up to her and asked "what's up?" She replies, along with her friend, "Nothing...I just want to dance with you." I dropped my head in shame. O FUCK!!! GOTTA GO!!!
Wednesday, April 30th, 2008
2:28 am
the future
i must say. this was a random video i found. i Hope that one day I am blessed to have a lil monkey prince that is this intelligent. Perhaps one day a woman will knock me out and make the dream come true.....LOL!!

korean baby singing hey jude

Current Mood: amused
Tuesday, April 29th, 2008
8:49 pm
i swear in this life that me and money aren't meant to get along lol I did get the new job though. This must be the penance I pay to get ahead a bit.
Monday, April 28th, 2008
11:44 am
now...goblin king is gone on a journey...time to talk
As always, I have dumb stuff to talk about lol. I had an odd day that went by in the week where I didn't fight against the grain like I always do. I wasn't stubborn for no reason. I didn't hide behind a nonchalant face and actually showed some sign of emotion. That was interesting. Don't really want to talk about it to be honest because thinking about it annoys me enough. To write it down would only give me something to complain about later. Being shitfaced will do that to ya....LOL!!

Saturday night I called an avengers meeting. Not too many came, but Doom and Black Man came out to hang with me and some co workers. There was alot of conversations going on at once. I got really cool with this girl I know named Dana. Lesbians are alot fun!!! We were all over the restaurant tripping since we had already had some drinks before work that day lol There was also this girl named...uhhh...let's call her....Shunpo. Ya see...Shunpo falls into the same category as a young lady I spoke of previously. She was talking about her life and things. She is 25...she is cool, but far from what I consider cute....but she wasn't ugly. This fuckhead put her hand on my thigh( the personal bubble region). I wanted to see what she had to say because, as stated before, I am immensely curious about most situations. She said that she had lived through some struggles and that she had just broken up her relationship. She then said that I was an asshole and that I was a really cool dude. At that point, I already knew what was coming up next. I held my head low and looked up slowly hoping and praying that she wouldn't say what I thought she would say next. BOOOOM!!!! she popped the big question. I just looked at her funny lol I wouldn't even let her touch my power pole in anyway shape or form. I saw her at work the day after and boy-o-boy.....*sigh* I never get the ones I actually really really really want. I guess that's the balance set forth in life itself.

I must bid the interwebs adieu......plotting out my costume for AWA... we all know who I am going as lol

Sunday, April 27th, 2008
8:47 am
man...as soon as the goblin king stops unplugging the intranets, i will be able to update..and boy do i have an update!!!

Wednesday, April 16th, 2008
1:25 pm
UUUUU magic peaches...my fave!!
In continuation of what I wrote a few days ago, this fucktard of a woman that I know is under the impression that I am her "sex partner" HAHAHAHA!!! That was cute the first time I heard her say it over the phone. What kind of guy does she take me for. It is one thing to be in the heat of the moment and biological and chemical precosis take place that we both can't control...which is very rare. Never....ever do I put a label on things and say "you my bitch". PULEEEEEEZ!!! I told her that I am not a piece of meat and that I will be treated accordingly. I know that I have in the past enjoyed life's carnal pleasures to a grand degree, but never will I sully myself in such a way like that again. She is cute and fun, but only talking to you to hang out and have sex isn't exactly on my grand agenda of a good life. I can get that in better places. The best part is that she actually thinks that she is in control of the situation. This is not me speaking with pride and bravado. I told her simply that I could cut her off on a whim. This fool says " You will be missing out." I replied "what...this/that??...you aren't the only one that will let me masturbate with her body." LOL i don't think she like that one. I tell you...I have the most comical of rogues galleries I have seen or heard of....well...other than my brother's at least.

Current Mood: amused
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